had still not arrived home, [his daughter] Kirsty searched his room and found the journal in which he wrote his thoughts and poems.There, she found a note which showed the true depths of his despair.
Carmen says: 'It was on a side of A5 and had been ripped out of the main pad. It said that he couldn't believe he and Natasha had only been together five years.
'Then he'd written, "I've tried to carry the load but the burden is too heavy to bear. I love my family and Tash's family very much. I'm sorry I can't be strong anymore."
'It ended with the words, "Please make sure you set up The Natasha Collins Trust and publish these poems."
from The Mail on Sunday: 'I honestly don't think he planned suicide'--The mother of his overdose girlfriend on the tragic death of Mark Speight
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