why people write elegies," [Mary Jo] Bang says. "One of their uses seems to be to keep the person alive in the world. I was aware from the beginning that I was keeping a conversation going with someone I was talking with for 37 years. Now, because of that event, I needed all the more to talk with him."At the end, you know that you have not kept that person alive. An elegy is a way of distracting yourself from lacerating grief."
from St. Louis Post-Dispatch: At home with Mary Jo Bang
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